I'm a mess. I don't usually have so many crushes (or possibly not crushes) at once. It's like I can't control my God damn emotions! Everything's spinning out of control and I'm not sure how to stop it. Anna cheated on her boyfriend and lied to me numerous times, thus making me look like a complete and utter idiot every time I defended her, which was more than enough times! Her boyfriend still wanted to be with her, but she broke up with him anyway and started dating the guy that she cheated with, then he "Got too mushy" after THREE DAYS so she broke up with him. While everything was going on, she flirted openly with about five guys, including the ones she 'dated'. This girl is even more crazy than I am! So I told her that I can't be her best friend any longer because of all the lies. It's one thing to cheat, but then lie to her best friend about it all, after what I've been through with my dad. Then Paul (her first boyfriend that she cheated on) started to show a growing interest in me, and so did this other guy Chantz. I told Anna about it and she said that that was what they did with everyone, INCLUDING HER. In other words, she got jealous and pretended that no one can EVER like and/or flirt with me because they just do that with everyone... UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even know anymore... I'm so confused : (. Always mixed-up,
Lexi Bennett
About Me
.jpg)
- Lexi -Loo-Bug
- Edmonds, West Coast, United States
- Just another crazy teenager trying to survive life.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
I Suppose I'm In A Rut
Why is it that when things start to look up, they all go downhill so fast you can't grasp them? I spent my last few days in California hoping to confront my so-called best friend, go shopping for school, meet my new kitten, and make new friends. But nothing ever goes as planned, does it?
Anna squeezed my thoughts out of me over the phone. That's the exact thing I was trying to avoid. Doing things like that over the phone just make you seem like a coward; like you can't tell the person what's bothering you in person because you're afraid, which I most certainly was not! Apparently, everything that I heard that night was a big misinterpretation. Her and her new friends were at the 'park' in the middle of the apartment complex, and the people around them where drinking and smoking. I'm not sure if I believed all of that, but I felt that she was being truthful. If I'm stupid for believing her, then fine. I'm stupid.
Then, I arrived home and spent three days with Anna on Stickam. I will never be going on that site ever again. Not a fan.
After that, I spent a few days with a couple other friends and everything was going great. My mother had a new boyfriend that seemed nice enough, my grandpa had recovered from his shingles, and I had plenty of friends keeping me busy. I even went on my first ever camping trip with my friend Destiny!
When, you may be asking, did everything go bad? The day I got home from camping. The soap I had used gave me acne, as soon as I got home Anna left, the friends I want to be with are busy or grounded, the ones I want to avoid are ever so bored, I still have no school supplies or supply list, and I'm bored!!!!!!
So, yeah. Life sucks. Maybe it'll get better, but you never know. I suppose I'm in a rut.Until next time,
A Slightly Depressed And Severely Bored Lexi Bennett
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Not A Wink
I've never been this confused about something before. Anna didn't text me at all today, so I don't know if she's mad at me or something. Usually, I'm the one to mend fences because it's me that has a problem with her. I don't even know anymore. Last night I didn't sleep at all. Not a wink. I don't know if I was anxious or worried, but I didn't feel tired at all. Is that a sign my problems are much deeper than my friend falling apart? In sixth and the beginning of seventh grade I went to a counseler. That would certainly help a bit. I'm in need of guidance. Until next time,
A Still Terribly Confused Lexi Bennett
Everything Happens When I'm Gone
Does anyone ever go on trips that are supposed to relieve stress? Yeah, exactly. That's why I went to see my dad in California (He left my mom, sister and I in May of 2008. He'd been cheating with one of our very close family friends, but that's another story). I hadn't seen him in seven whole months! So, for all of July I've been kicking back in Santa Clarita, catching a tan, and it's almost been great.
While I've been gone, though, my best friend has gone into a downward spiral that I'm not sure can be reversed. We've always been the type of girls that laugh at the stupid things 'popular' people do. Smoking weed and cigarettes, drinking alcohol; it's all been things we never though of doing. (of course I'll drink eventually, but I'm only thirteen!) Ever since the end of fourth grade, we've been inseperable. I never thought anything could tear us apart this easily.
Every other year, she goes to Colombia with her dad to visit her family. When she returned home in January, aparently she'd lived a double life. At the age of twelve, she'd made out with a sixteen year old, gotten drunk repeatedly, and done who knows what else. She knew I didn't aprove, but like the good friend I was, I tried to be understanding when she told me it was different there. People were different.
Then, she met Chantz. I knew we'd meet new people in middle school, make new friends. Never in my wildest dreams did I think she would meet her first 'make-out buddy'. By June, she'd made out with him, held hands with him, let all sorts of guys grab her butt (it'd become famous across school for it's enormity, just as my boobs), and millions of other things I have yet to hear about. Again, I sat back and gritted my teeth as rumors spread about my best friend. People were asking me why she was trying to steal other girl's boyfriends and why she was such a whore. I didn't know what to tell them so I denied it.
In only a month, she's gone even farther down a path I didn't ever want her to cross. We're fairly popular; we have many friends and people generally like us. I didn't ever know that Anna wasn't okay with our status. Our good friend Kylee is apart of the popular group, and while I've been in California, they've been hanging out together, along with Mhali (our friend that's visiting from Hawaii for the summer), Laura (one of the popular girl's in school), and a bevy of guy's I've never met. She's also been talking to Antonio, the guy that thinks he's all that. If Antonio has any ounce of popularity, I wouldn't know it. He walked onto the bus every afternoon with his piece-of-crap phone blaring Lil' Wayne songs as he mumbled the words, trying to sound like him. Anna and I had cracked up every time he walked by at the hilarity of all of it. Now, though, she insists he's the sweetest guy ever.
Since I've been gone, she's been texting me, telling me all of the things happening. Antonio is a year older than us (and not remotely attractive) and had asked her to have sex with him. They'd never even talked in person before! Today was her first hangout with him and you'll be shocked to hear what happened. I'd been assured numerous times that nothing would happen with him; Anna insisted she wasn't stupid. The call I got at eleven thirty didn't spell out the same message. They'd been a little late, but once they'd met up, Antonio and Anna had went into a forest (I know, I was confused about that, too) and he'd rubbed his boner alllllllllllll over her behind. Then, he'd 'made Anna climb a tree', as she'd told me, and she'd layed on top of him. Next thing she knew, her pants were off and his dick was out. From what she told me, she'd said no, he'd gotten angry, and they'd gone their seperate ways. All of this on their supposed first time ever hanging out together!
This girl is thirteen years old! The Anna I know would never even consider hanging out with this slimeball! Oh, and then she went over to Laura's to smoke pot and drink beer. What an eventfull day she had while I watched TV with my cousin!
So, yes, my best friend has suddenly become a slut. But what can you do? I called my other best friend and vented, crying all too many tears. I think the only thing I can do is not talk to her for a few days, to find out for sure how I feel. Is that a good idea? Because I'm not sure what I'd say to her....
That's all I can think to write at the moment. Thanks for listening, Internet.
Until next time,
While I've been gone, though, my best friend has gone into a downward spiral that I'm not sure can be reversed. We've always been the type of girls that laugh at the stupid things 'popular' people do. Smoking weed and cigarettes, drinking alcohol; it's all been things we never though of doing. (of course I'll drink eventually, but I'm only thirteen!) Ever since the end of fourth grade, we've been inseperable. I never thought anything could tear us apart this easily.
Every other year, she goes to Colombia with her dad to visit her family. When she returned home in January, aparently she'd lived a double life. At the age of twelve, she'd made out with a sixteen year old, gotten drunk repeatedly, and done who knows what else. She knew I didn't aprove, but like the good friend I was, I tried to be understanding when she told me it was different there. People were different.
Then, she met Chantz. I knew we'd meet new people in middle school, make new friends. Never in my wildest dreams did I think she would meet her first 'make-out buddy'. By June, she'd made out with him, held hands with him, let all sorts of guys grab her butt (it'd become famous across school for it's enormity, just as my boobs), and millions of other things I have yet to hear about. Again, I sat back and gritted my teeth as rumors spread about my best friend. People were asking me why she was trying to steal other girl's boyfriends and why she was such a whore. I didn't know what to tell them so I denied it.
In only a month, she's gone even farther down a path I didn't ever want her to cross. We're fairly popular; we have many friends and people generally like us. I didn't ever know that Anna wasn't okay with our status. Our good friend Kylee is apart of the popular group, and while I've been in California, they've been hanging out together, along with Mhali (our friend that's visiting from Hawaii for the summer), Laura (one of the popular girl's in school), and a bevy of guy's I've never met. She's also been talking to Antonio, the guy that thinks he's all that. If Antonio has any ounce of popularity, I wouldn't know it. He walked onto the bus every afternoon with his piece-of-crap phone blaring Lil' Wayne songs as he mumbled the words, trying to sound like him. Anna and I had cracked up every time he walked by at the hilarity of all of it. Now, though, she insists he's the sweetest guy ever.
Since I've been gone, she's been texting me, telling me all of the things happening. Antonio is a year older than us (and not remotely attractive) and had asked her to have sex with him. They'd never even talked in person before! Today was her first hangout with him and you'll be shocked to hear what happened. I'd been assured numerous times that nothing would happen with him; Anna insisted she wasn't stupid. The call I got at eleven thirty didn't spell out the same message. They'd been a little late, but once they'd met up, Antonio and Anna had went into a forest (I know, I was confused about that, too) and he'd rubbed his boner alllllllllllll over her behind. Then, he'd 'made Anna climb a tree', as she'd told me, and she'd layed on top of him. Next thing she knew, her pants were off and his dick was out. From what she told me, she'd said no, he'd gotten angry, and they'd gone their seperate ways. All of this on their supposed first time ever hanging out together!
This girl is thirteen years old! The Anna I know would never even consider hanging out with this slimeball! Oh, and then she went over to Laura's to smoke pot and drink beer. What an eventfull day she had while I watched TV with my cousin!
So, yes, my best friend has suddenly become a slut. But what can you do? I called my other best friend and vented, crying all too many tears. I think the only thing I can do is not talk to her for a few days, to find out for sure how I feel. Is that a good idea? Because I'm not sure what I'd say to her....
That's all I can think to write at the moment. Thanks for listening, Internet.
Until next time,
A Very Angry And Confused Lexi Bennett
Just Thought I'd Warn You
Well, hello to anyone that's reading this. I've started this blog in hopes that it will help to clear some of the thoughts flying around in my crowded brain. So, if you're looking for something unbearably exciting, you've gone to the wrong place. No, this will be a place that I vent my feelings whenever I choose to. Sit back, relax, and keep reading if you want to. This is gonna be a bumpy ride.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)