Not A Wink

     I've never been this confused about something before. Anna didn't text me at all today, so I don't know if she's mad at me or something. Usually, I'm the one to mend fences because it's me that has a problem with her. I don't even know anymore. Last night I didn't sleep at all. Not a wink. I don't know if I was anxious or worried, but I didn't feel tired at all. Is that a sign my problems are much deeper than my friend falling apart? In sixth and the beginning of seventh grade I went to a counseler. That would certainly help a bit. I'm in need of guidance. Until next time,

A Still Terribly Confused Lexi Bennett

Everything Happens When I'm Gone

      Does anyone ever go on trips that are supposed to relieve stress? Yeah, exactly. That's why I went to see my dad in California (He left my mom, sister and I in May of 2008. He'd been cheating with one of our very close family friends, but that's another story). I hadn't seen him in seven whole months! So, for all of July I've been kicking back in Santa Clarita, catching a tan, and it's almost been great.
     While I've been gone, though, my best friend has gone into a downward spiral that I'm not sure can be reversed. We've always been the type of girls that laugh at the stupid things 'popular' people do. Smoking weed and cigarettes, drinking alcohol; it's all been things we never though of doing. (of course I'll drink eventually, but I'm only thirteen!) Ever since the end of fourth grade, we've been inseperable. I never thought anything could tear us apart this easily.
     Every other year, she goes to Colombia with her dad to visit her family. When she returned home in January, aparently she'd lived a double life. At the age of twelve, she'd made out with a sixteen year old, gotten drunk repeatedly, and done who knows what else. She knew I didn't aprove, but like the good friend I was, I tried to be understanding when she told me it was different there. People were different.
     Then, she met Chantz. I knew we'd meet new people in middle school, make new friends. Never in my wildest dreams did I think she would meet her first 'make-out buddy'. By June, she'd made out with him, held hands with him, let all sorts of guys grab her butt (it'd become famous across school for it's enormity, just as my boobs), and millions of other things I have yet to hear about. Again, I sat back and gritted my teeth as rumors spread about my best friend. People were asking me why she was trying to steal other girl's boyfriends and why she was such a whore. I didn't know what to tell them so I denied it.
     In only a month, she's gone even farther down a path I didn't ever want her to cross. We're fairly popular; we have many friends and people generally like us. I didn't ever know that Anna wasn't okay with our status. Our good friend Kylee is apart of the popular group, and while I've been in California, they've been hanging out together, along with Mhali (our friend that's visiting from Hawaii for the summer), Laura (one of the popular girl's in school), and a bevy of guy's I've never met. She's also been talking to Antonio, the guy that thinks he's all that. If Antonio has any ounce of popularity, I wouldn't know it. He walked onto the bus every afternoon with his piece-of-crap phone blaring Lil' Wayne songs as he mumbled the words, trying to sound like him. Anna and I had cracked up every time he walked by at the hilarity of all of it. Now, though, she insists he's the sweetest guy ever.
     Since I've been gone, she's been texting me, telling me all of the things happening. Antonio is a year older than us (and not remotely attractive) and had asked her to have sex with him. They'd never even talked in person before! Today was her first hangout with him and you'll be shocked to hear what happened. I'd been assured numerous times that nothing would happen with him; Anna insisted she wasn't stupid. The call I got at eleven thirty didn't spell out the same message. They'd been a little late, but once they'd met up, Antonio and Anna had went into a forest (I know, I was confused about that, too) and he'd rubbed his boner alllllllllllll over her behind. Then, he'd 'made Anna climb a tree', as she'd told me, and she'd layed on top of him. Next thing she knew, her pants were off and his dick was out. From what she told me, she'd said no, he'd gotten angry, and they'd gone their seperate ways. All of this on their supposed first time ever hanging out together!
     This girl is thirteen years old! The Anna I know would never even consider hanging out with this slimeball! Oh, and then she went over to Laura's to smoke pot and drink beer. What an eventfull day she had while I watched TV with my cousin!
     So, yes, my best friend has suddenly become a slut. But what can you do? I called my other best friend and vented, crying all too many tears. I think the only thing I can do is not talk to her for a few days, to find out for sure how I feel. Is that a good idea? Because I'm not sure what I'd say to her....
     That's all I can think to write at the moment. Thanks for listening, Internet.
     Until next time,

A Very Angry And Confused Lexi Bennett

Just Thought I'd Warn You

     Well, hello to anyone that's reading this. I've started this blog in hopes that it will help to clear some of the thoughts flying around in my crowded brain. So, if you're looking for something unbearably exciting, you've gone to the wrong place. No, this will be a place that I vent my feelings whenever I choose to. Sit back, relax, and keep reading if you want to. This is gonna be a bumpy ride.